HELLO, WORLD.

a perfect love.

2009-10-06T01:58:00.000+07:00

This is a rhetorical question quoted from a facebook status updates appeared on my facebook feeds.

"Just tell me how a perfect love goes wrong?"

Correct me if I'm making a bad response to this question,
Ignore me if my reply degrading your opinion on love,
But there's no perfect love ever exist between humans.

Humans, are known by their imperfect self,
keep making mistakes from time to time, even repeating their own unique mistakes.
Humans define themselves from others by their imperfections and their advantages taken from others imperfections.
As you see, no humans live a life perfectly.
Humans are just humanly imperfect.

Therefore, a perfect love then wouldn't be exist at all.
Beyond all the power of love that have been overrated since the beginning of life, love happens between humans, created by humans, felt by humans, the imperfect creature.

It's only natural that then, no love is perfect.
So what seems to be a perfect love, must've been an absolut lie all along.

Quite a long speech on a simple question like that. Haha.
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Sinyal Bagus XL, Nyambung Teruuusss...!

rear view

2009-09-01T15:17:00.001+07:00

My eyes are weak.
They keep searching for you,
they'll weep when they don't find you.
And on a rear view, I couldn't see you. Not once, not twice.
But they just don't get it.
They wander off freely.
*putiy

I might be overreacted, but i love my mom so much. don't you?

2009-08-12T23:34:00.002+07:00

Kalo nyokap gw sampe kenapa - kenapa, gw sumpahin lu semua ga bisa tidur nyenyak sampe mati.

zooey deschanel

2009-08-12T20:18:00.004+07:00

not so much of a fashion lover, not so much of a vintage lover, I really like Zooey Deschanel.
She has something.
She is multi-talented.
actress, singer-songwriter, musician.
and her fashion sense are just different from the mainstream.
yes, the 'it' mainstream..
not sure who i'm talking about?
recall your YESMAN movie memory.

Case#2

2009-08-07T00:48:00.001+07:00

Ada aja ya orang.
Udah tadi nyokap gw dituduh ky gtu di pengadilan....
Ini lagi...
Mantan gw yg aneh...
Udah gw ga pernah ngomongin dia lagi...ga pernah jelek2in dia lagi... Ga pernah inget2 lagi... (Bwt apa? I've got myself wayy better boyfriend) Sepenuh hati ud gw maapin tu org...
Masi aja dia bahas2 gw...
Ngomongin yg jeleknya...
Gila...
Kalo dendam ngomong dong bung! Braninya ngomongin di blakang
Jadi cowo kok gtu ya...
Bangga banget mutusin gw...freak
Gw malu deh pernah jadian ma org ky gitu...
Bikin kesel lagi aja...
Susah ya mau jadi orang baek....
Harus dewasa....
Harus ga kepengaruh bginian..
Kaya ga ada yg lebi penting aja!
putiy

GREED

2009-08-06T22:49:00.001+07:00

Today is mommy's birthday..
And guess what's the greatest gift she got?
Ah cape pake bahasa inggris lagi emosi..
Gila banget tu orang-orang serakah!
Bisa2nya nuduh nyokap gw gelapin duit!
Gila lo ya smua!
Bilang rmh gw hasil penggelapan!
Gila!
Ngomong kaya tong kosong!
Makan tu duit lo!
Nuduh aja bisanya!
Mikir dong! Ga pake otakkkkkk
SERAKAH JUGA ADA BATASNYA!!!
Orang apa setan!!!
Ga punya hatii!
Bisa2nya bawa tuduhan kaya gitu ke pengadilan! Lu kira keluarga gw kerjanya buang2 duit korupsi??????
Taelahhh
Speechless gw..
Ga ada lagi kata2 yg bsa nunjukin emosi gw lebih lagi.

Hebatnya nyokap gw ga marah.
Hebat ya.
Soalnya dia yakin dia ga salah.
Mestinya lu semua belajar dr nyokap gw!
Kalo lu semua punya setitik aja kebaikan nyokap gw, masuk surga semua lu!
putiy

I talk about me

2009-07-24T22:28:00.001+07:00

I've been thinking,
- I'm not being snobbish or anything -
But I've been thinking, for quite a while, that,
if there's something that God gave to make me unique, it would have been my brain.
- I'm not telling you I'm a genius or what.. -
I'm not.
But my mind seems to think ahead time.
And now I'm feeling, I'm 21 with a mind of 30. Or even 40.
Sometimes when I hear other people's problems (around my age), I feel silly.
They've been sweating small stuff.
And what interests them, doesn't interest me.
And they seem to lack of gratitude.
And I don't like having fun and doing crazy stuff, unless when I'm drunk. And I don't really like drinking.

I may looked gloomy, but I find peace, when I'm home, laying in bed, and do some work with some snacks as company.
putiy

Sajak aneh di tengah kemacetan kota jakarta

2009-07-01T19:00:00.001+07:00

Kalau kamu ikut, dunia milik mereka berdua.
Kamu hanya akan jadi lampu taman, dia jadi jangkrik, aku jadi semak.
Kita cuma jadi aksesoris pelengkap.
Tapi kita menang jumlah! Hore!
Jadi buat apa pusing?
Tanpa jangkrik,semak,dan lampu taman, mereka juga tak ada artinya.
Haha!
putiy

i can't believe i posted it, but yes.. i love my boyfriend!

2009-06-22T02:50:00.000+07:00

We don't think alike. Act alike. Or look alike. At all.
We fight like two kids fighting over toys. Loud, harsh, but never last long.
We argue a lot. A little bit too much.
We cry, once in a while. When the fight gets really bad.
But when we laugh, we really mean it.
In our happy times, clocks ticking really fast.
In difficult times, we're standing side by side.
We encourage one another to reach every dreams we have.

It's been two years and a half, and I finally get it.
We're not seemed to be, yet we're meant to be. It's perfect.

my mind keeps taking me two step backward every time i try to step forward

2009-06-09T13:49:00.002+07:00

i feel my hesitation has taking over my mind, once again.
i tried to wake up and fight, but what i faced then forcing me down,
i tried to reach the stars, but i could only hold my hands,
i tried to stand up for myself, but once again, it's always others' hands that keeps me from falling.
i tried to think positively, but i couldn't bare to face the truth,
i need mind power, or a hypnosis therapy to keep me sane during my alone time.
because every time i push my mind, i feel less and less optimistic.

in my negative little mind, it's true, the world doesn't fit with me.

2009-05-04T18:50:00.004+07:00

in my negative little eyes,
i hate everything you say.
i hate the way you act.
i could see every lie in your eyes, i could read every unspoken word you wouldn't dare to say.
and i don' like them, at all.
i know how you feel that way, i understand, yet i couldn't accept the fact that you're acting like a b**ch, a f**king friend that's never there.
and there i watch you lie, i watch you try to avoid things i might think, i watch you fail.
and i couldn't speak a word. i cry and kneel on my mind,
i wish everyone to disappear, so i'll miss every lie and every trick.
I'm sick of them.
yet my lips are sealed.
i cant have people, even when they lie in daily basis -because lies are really humanly- , hurt because of what i say about them.
i don't have the heart to do so.
i lie too, you know.

and then i do my revenge.
in my negative little imaginary world in my head,
i crush you into pieces, then i laugh.
i talk what i thought
and i leave you all.

but that's just me.
this thing has led to an ugly creature in me that i couldn't control.
i couldn't laugh no more, i couldn't smile freely.
i feel resentful every time i wake up in the morning.
that's just me.

people get paid for anything, these days.

2009-03-25T19:18:00.003+07:00

have you ever watch a mtv-made reality show called 'Real world'?
if you happen not to, well..
it's not worth to watch anyway. don't.
but if you do, you'll know well what i'd tell you.

This 'reality show', called real world, despite the originality and the realness, seems to expose too much about 'real world' based on mtv-definition.
these people are chasing their dreams, their life purpose in becoming entertainment stars, and million people around the world following their progress while they do what they do.
we supposed to support them, love them, hate them, put emotional feelings to the show so we keep the show going and prospering.
seems like a good plan.

what i've been wondering, are these people, normal people, get paid for being on the show?
i supposed so.
are there scenarios? dramas? made-up conflicts?
sure there is.

but i couldn't understand, did they get paid for being a total jerk?
crushing people like you're the center of the universe.
cursing anywhere anytime to anyone to the point where i could only hear beep beep beep all the time.
having people all around the world hating you and cursing you back.

wow.
what's more insane,
i thought it could be fun, being on the show.
being the jerk.
blabbering anything as you wish, and get paid for it.
more over, get well-known.
what could be easier?

two-faced paper dolls.

2009-03-25T17:05:00.007+07:00

understanding girls really is hard.
even so when they refuse to talk feelings.
why is it so hard?
tell the truth
be fair
and honest

all is fair in love, dear
i would even understand your preferences over me.
i would even understand when you put me aside.
when we're really that close, is that really hard to do?

girls' friendship is as fragile as paper dolls.
it looks pretty in front, but you wont even want to look what's behind.
i know enough about this.

if i was pretty sure about me hating myself, then i'd be hating you as well, because we're the same two-faced fragile paper dolls.
and dont blame me.
ever.
again.

enough!

if it's right, why it feels so painful?

2009-03-16T02:06:00.002+07:00

how mean does a word could be?
how many changes does a broken heart made?

how much it costs, to turn back time?
I'm willing to trade what's left, from my soul.

all i could do is just endure it, and move along.

i'm a bunny, in a cage.

2009-03-11T09:28:00.002+07:00

i can only see them, i can't reach them.
i could only hear them when they're near.
i crave them, i crave their freedom.
he put me in a cage so no one would hurt me.
my master loves me, i know.
but i want to get out.
i want to explore, myself.
i want to get hurt, if i have to.

how tight this cage would be in the future years?
i'm scared by the thought of it;

so i'll free my bunny.

smoking, or not smoking.

2009-03-05T18:57:00.002+07:00

i used to hate smoking people.

smoking kills.

is it just a propaganda, or is it really true?

everyone will die eventually.
how long would you want to live?
90? 80? 70? 60? i think 60 years of life is enough.

with 60 as a target, smoking won't kill you, or so i thought.
there's a lot of people survived 70 even when they smoke really hard.

people could also died by diabetes, you know.
for licking lollipops too much, every single day.

so why banned cigarettes?
banned lollipops as well.

there must be a better reason for this non smoking propaganda.

is it beauty? is it politics? or merely personal sentiment?

so i've changed my mind.
smoking won't kill you faster, so smoke freely, please.

it makes the four of us.

2009-03-05T10:32:00.003+07:00

a day should have been enough already to change a lot of things.

i see life differently.
it's not me changing.
it's just the way my heart feels.
the freedom of will.
the risk and responsibility.
the cause we fight for, the reason in every acts.
love and friendship, and the sake of my true self.

what's better, what's worse..
it all fades away..

one thing i'm completely sure, we're in this together.
together we hurts.
it's just not you, it's us.

blame anyone, blame me for this.

sorry, dearly ones.

2009-03-05T10:19:00.001+07:00

When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on.
Don't let yourself go, everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes.

Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along.
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on.

Everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends.
Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand.
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on.

Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes.
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on.
Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. (repeat & fade)
(Everybody hurts. You are not alone.)

exploding nowhere

2009-02-25T23:41:00.003+07:00

when happiness and sorrow couldn't be shared with your loved ones,
would it still mean anything at all?

just like everything else, does happiness comes with a cost?

2009-02-13T19:13:00.002+07:00

we all know that beauty comes with pain.
if this statement happen to be your first time knowing..
well, at least now you know.

wearing high heels is a pain,
so does walking and dancing in them.
wearing fake eyelashes is another pain.
and surviving through the night is the most painful of all.

and those who believed that beauty doesn't have to be painful,
create what we called effortless beauty.
dress casually and wearing natural make up, but still look more than ordinary.
then we copying the style,
and we made effort to look effortless.
and those who really crave for comfort, just wear anything they wore to sleep the previous night, and be accused for fashion crime.

we all know that in this country, power goes with money.
nobody needs explanation for that.

and most of the other things in life come with their own costs.
success with hard work, health with healthy diet, ...

but happiness is the core of life, the very first purpose of human life, the reason for our existence..
does happiness, just like everything else, comes with its cost?
do we should crashing and burning, stumbling over rocks, and falling off cliffs to reach happiness?

not forgiven, not forgotten. i simply hate you so much right now.

2009-02-06T12:06:00.002+07:00

there's a thin line between love and hate.
a very one.

you knew it, yet you made me crossed.
I care no more about you.
just don't make me hate you more.
just stay away from my loved one.
stay away, and don't try to be close.
stay away, and never come back.
stay away, and just stay away.

I've had so much of you.
three years and a betrayal, and three years more in a trial to forgive you.
and I failed. Even if time heals, it fail badly in you.

no words could even shout it.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I don't care how much this grudge will hurt me, I just want to hate you honestly.
I just want to be free to hate you.
enough pretending.
so long and good bye.

blowing the candles: the perfect beauty in flaws.

2009-02-02T09:36:00.006+07:00

I've found the secret of perfect birthdays' day.

It's not in the present, nor the cake, nor the costs..

Neither it's in the surprises.

It's not flawless. It's not fancy.

And it's got nothing to do with alcohol. or drugs. or sex. .....

okay, maybe a little bit of alcohol, but none of the rest.

It's just the way you embrace it.

though friends made it twice merrier.

Call it maturity.

In flaws, there comes the beauty.

And I called this year's birthday as my best one ever.

once in a blue moon, i think of you.

2009-01-11T11:41:00.002+07:00

i would not pretend i don't like you
i would not pretend i won't miss you
it's all true,
though i'm not sure how i feel about you

emotional eruption

2009-01-08T18:31:00.004+07:00

i believe everyone deserve an emotional eruption once in a while.
and for the right cause, it's a noble thing to do.
and i'm proud of my brother, standing up for mom like that.
i could never have the courage to do so.

i believe you don't understand what i wrote.
i'll tell you.

the thing is, a greedy man with his uneducated wife along with their son waited in front of the church last sunday morning for my mom to showed up after the mass.
if you keep up with my stories few posts back, i know you know what they're up to.

i always thought my mom had been overreacted about her preferences of church based on the people who come there every week. i always thought, that it's impossible, someone, a catholic man, just like us, would offend my mom about their demand, force her to accept their will and act against her own consciences and beliefs. in the church.
how could someone be so cruel and have lack-of-awareness of where he supposed to talk matters like that?
and how could emotional ego took over your tongue to say bitter things like he accused my mom was?
after a tight conversation for about 20 minutes, we decided to retreat, to go home.
but he blabbering about some rubbish and he shouted it out along his walk.
he called my mom a manipulator, in indonesia and in a more harsh way = penipu.

and it has taken its toll on my brother.
he lost his temper, and attack the heartless man.
of course he was stopped by people around us before he could punched the jerk.
and he (my brother) shouted him (the ass-wiping guy) about how to behave at church, and some words defending my mother.

how could he didn't know how to behave at church.
how could he accused my mother for a crime she didn't commit.
and his bitter-looking wife pointed at us and act emotionally, pointed at my mother actually. what a bi**h.

and there we were, with hundred of eyes staring at us.
and somehow, my arms was willing to happily loose the tight around my brother's body and let him attack the greedy family.
but it would cause my mom more trouble it is, with his bad mouth thing, everything would be turned upside down the way he wanted to, in a police office maybe.

thank god it didn't happen.
he just lettered my mom's office that we provoke him first to say those mean words.
not that we didn't predict that would happen.
we knew.

and I'm glad my brother didn't act further, and my arms did go against my true wishes.
though somewhere beneath my consciousness, i desperately wanted him to go down with bruises and broken nose.

whoever said money is not the most important thing in the world simply never experienced this.

2008-12-18T17:57:00.002+07:00

update berita terbaru... sekarang nyokap gw udah pindah ke kantor pusatnya, but suprisingly, sekarang para om-om tante-tante, cici-cici dan koko-koko yang hiperaktif itu pindah juga ngikutin nyokap gw...
demo di depan kantor.

what the hee.....??!!!

bahkan ngancem mau datengin rumah gw...

da?
mau ngapain ke rumah gw?
sorry to dissapoint you guys, we're not the ones who took your moneyy....!
and surely, we couldn't give it back!
namanya juga investasi bung.

namanya juga hidup.
take a risk.

dan gw percaya, 110 %, 1000%, 100%, kalo ini semua bukan tanggung jawab nyokap gw, bukan kesalahan nyokap gw, dan kepindahannya ke kantor pusat adalah 'kenaikan pangkat', bukan karena dia melakukan kesalahan, tapi krn bos2nya kasihan liat dia di gading diserang orang-orang ga berperasaan, tamak, rakus, super egois, super emosional, super super super super congkak.

yang sebenernya dalam hati tau, bukan nyokap gw yang salah, tapi mereka mencari kambing hitam untuk semua masalah yang mereka hadapi.
very....
very human, actually.
in a childish way.

since this is my blog, i'm free to speakk...
yay me!

siapapun yang pernah ketemu nyokap gw, even cuma sekali, bakal percaya juga kalo nyokap gw ga mungkin bisa kepikiran untuk memanipulasi apapun siapapun...
She is AA type, really.
even sampe sekarang masih ngingetin gw sikat gigi tiap malem.
ngomelin gw kalo nutup pintu bunyi sedikit aja.
that kind of mom, yang bahkan merawat pintu-pintunya, masa iya klien-kliennya, nasabah-nasabahnya, ga dia rawat?

butuh hati yang besar untuk jadi orang bank.
ngurusin duit orang yang lebih banyak dari duitnya sendiri.
di depan matanya, setiap hari.
butuh hati yang besar untuk menerima bahwa terkadang orang yang seumur hidupnya tidak melakukan apa-apa ternyata hidupnya jauh lebih mudah dan mulus.
butuh hati yang besar untuk menerima bahwa kita ga akan pernah jadi seperti itu.
dengan jadi orang bank.

nyokap gw skrg not in the mood for any holiday, not in the mood for christmas, not in the mood for anything that cost money and energy anyway..
salah siapa?
blame those greedy people?
nah
blame those broadcast media?
nah
blame the economic crisis?
nah
blame herself to be an banker?
maybe.
maybe she should did sewing and feeding her kids at home, just like the other moms.

i love her anyway.

ketika cinta dipertanyakan

2008-12-11T19:24:00.003+07:00

puisi oleh sahabat gw, renzKecil.. gw suka banget entah kenapa.. adakah gw merasakan hal yg sama?
heheh
read it.

hati berseru dengar kan bisikannya
pilu nestapa dalam duka merenda
akan sejuta tanya dalam cerita
antara teriak amarah dan pinta

jarum dalam jerami
hendak menyembunyikan nyatanya
jalan setapak di tengah rimbunan
hendak menemukan mimpi tentangnya

adakah cinta,
bila hati tergundah resah?

adakah cinta,
bila bisikan tersaru riak air?

adakah cinta,
bila aku terkubur dalam bayang?

bila dan hanya aku, yang bisa mengerti
bila dan hanya kamu, yang kan melihatnya

view from 5303

2008-12-11T17:28:00.003+07:00

tadi waktu ujian, gw menyadari betapa kerennya ruang studio 5303 itu...
hummm.. bukan isinya yang keren...
viewnya!
bayangin... kelas mana lagi yang punya view langsung ke luar di kedua sisinya....
asik banget klo dipikir-pikir... jendela lebar di sepanjang dinding kanan kiri...
gimana sih ngomongnya susah...
sebenernya suasananya kondusif sangat sih buat studio..
tapi entah kenapa gw ga pernah memperhatikan... terlalu terpaku sama meja dan kertas..
huoooo
bener2 berasa terang alami (padahal kalo lampu dimatiin gelap juga...)
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

talking about responsibility

2008-12-09T10:02:00.000+07:00

mari bicara tentang organisasi.

lately, gw sibuk dengan organisasi di luar masalah ke akademikan, yang membuat gw belajar banyak hal.

hal-hal yang akan gw sebutkan di bawah ini hanya pemikiran gw aja tanpa bermaksud menyinggung siapapun.

himpunan mahasiswa arsitektur unpar.
melalui kacamata gw, himpunan gw adalah himpunan yang sangat idealis.
terlalu idealis sampai menjadi terlalu kaku untuk hal-hal yang praktis.
ingin perubahan sistem, ingin perbaikan manajemen, ingin begini ingin begitu...
entah idealisme ini datang dari mana.
dan ditekan oleh idealisme lain dari atas.
peraturan-peraturan, segala hirarki dan prosedur-prosedur birokrasi.

siapa bilang visi misi harus jadi yang utama dan pertama dalam semua perencanaan himpunan?
kalau memang target kita adalah perubahan sistem, maka jadilah itu yang utama.
sedih sekarang gw, ketika himpunan udah jalan, ternyata perubahan sistem belum melalui pemikiran yang matang karena 2 bulan sibuk bervisimisi, dan hasil visi misi itu tampaknya ga pernah dilihat-lihat lagi sama sekali.
akhirnya siapa yang menderita?
beberapa orang yang terpaksa dan bertanggung jawab atas double bahkan triple jobdesk.
harus hadir di semua pertemuan, ngurusin semua masalah, tapi di lain pihak harus punya waktu untuk tugas studio dan kuliah, ditambah lagi harus bisa mantain pacar (kalo ada).

ga penting siapa yang salah karena himpunan udah berjalan setengah taun.
ga ada sistem yg bisa dperbaiki untuk saat ini.
yang ada cuman bisa ngeliat mereka yg berkorban, terus berkorban sampai setengah taun kedepan.

sampai sejauh mana tanggung jawab itu perlu dipertahankan?
himpunan mahasiswa adalah kegiatan yg supposedly mendukung kegiatan akademik perkuliahan.
yang ada, kegiatan ini mengambil alih semua prioritas mahasiswa (tertentu).
mulai dari rapat di jam kuliah, rapat lagi setelah kuliah sampai malam yang efektivitasnya pun mungkin hanya sebatas pada nominal waktu.

gw juga bukannya menjadi orang ketiga disini. karena gw ngeliat sendiri, mengalami sendiri sebagai orang kedua, gimana sibuknya ketua himpunan gw yang dituntut berbagai pihak untuk hadir, bertanggung jawab, menandatangani, dan berdiskusi kapanpun dimanapun.
bahkan belakangan dia kerjain juga kerjaan gw waktu gw lagi bener2 sibuk dengan offset dan habitat. gw merasa egois, tapi lihatlah hasil offset gw, maka lu tau kenapa gw harus begadang seminggu lebih (tidur juga sih kadang-kadang), minum kratingdeng kadang dicampur kopi.
mudah-mudahan bantuan gw dalam menyelesaikan offsetnya bisa membayar bolos-bolos gw dr tanggung jawab gw.

dan masih ada yang mencela dia sebagai ketua himpunan.
what are you made of, dude?

sampai akhirnya gw berpikir, apakah semua kesibukan ini worth dengan hasil yang gw dapat?
apa memang harus begini?
di himpunan lain di universitas lain di kota lain jarang gw menemukan ada yang sangat memerlukan rapat sampai tengah malam.

habitat.
to be continued.

it's always about money

2008-12-09T07:08:00.001+07:00

gw baru aja balik dr jakarta, liburan setelah sekian lama ga libur.
tp kenyataan yg gw hadapi di jakarta adalah, things get worse.
nyokap gw yg kerja di satu bank yg belakangan ini banyak diomongin di tv sekarang lagi menghadapi tekanan mental yang cukup
(atau sangat) berat dari nasabah-nasabahnya.
gw yg dengerin cerita dia bisa jadi stress sendiri.
mulai dari telepon telepon yang ga berhenti dari nasabah yang ingin ngomel-ngomel sampe nangis-nangis
sampe makian langsung di depan mata semua org di kantor untuk sesuatu hal yang ga bisa diapa-apain dan bukan salah nyokap gw juga
makian?
iya, makian. bahkan dari ibu-ibu yang terlihat baik-baik normalnya pun pada saat-saat ini bisa aja ngeluarin kata-kata jahat hari-hari ini.
belum lagi urusan kantor yang memang lagi ribet banget..
dilanjutkan rapat-rapat panjang sampai larut malam..

belum lagi kehilangan teman-teman dan relasi yang semuanya ingin mencari kambing hitam dari keadaan yang mereka alami.
yang ada adalah nyokap gw yg harus rela dihujani segala pelampiasan itu.

berlebihan?
ga.
orang-orang di cabang nyokap gw, banyak banget cinanya.
bukannya gw mau menjelek2an diri gw sendiri atau malah menggeneralisasi, tapi inilah faktanya.
as we all know, kebanyakan cina-cina sangat protektif dengan duitnya.
jadi begitu finansialnya terancam, mereka akan melakukan apapun, mulai dari masuk akal sampai tindakan yg desperate banget, tanpa peduli sama org lain.
hal ini terbukti karena cabang nyokap gw adalah cabang yang paling ditakuti orang-orang posisi atas, kata nyokap.
ga ada yg mau dateng, krn takut dengan nasabah.
bahkan di surabaya katanya mobil kepala cabangnya disita oleh nasabah yg ngotot pengen duitnya dibalikin. funny huh?
makin lama jadi kaya fpi.
thx god sekarang nyokap gw dipindah ke kantor pusat.

skrg nyokap gw males ngangkat telpon dan jawabin orang-orang itu,
males pergi ke mal karena takut ketemu nasabah-nasabahnya yang super agresif,
pindah jam ke gereja karena di jam yang biasanya banyak ketemu nasabah2 tersebut.
aneh kan?
pdhl nyokap gw bisa dibilang salah satu orang paling idealis soal kerjaan.
dateng ga pernah telat, meskipun boleh telat.
ga pernah nerima imbalan apapun untuk sesuatu yang memang udah jadi kewajibannya.
ga mainin duit kantor.
ga itungan sama waktu.
segala sesuatu bener-bener dijalankan sesuai peraturan tapi tetep fleksibel.
nasabahnya curhat juga didengerin, mau crita soal anak sampe crita soal liburannya juga didengerin.

tapi begitu keadaan begini, semuanya hilang wushh
orang-orang yang mengalami kesusahan dalam hidupnya, biasanya akan berusaha untuk menyakiti orang lain
yang mereka anggap mempunyai andil dalam kesusahan itu, entah benar atau tidak.
apalagi kalau soal uang.
skip on my mother frustrating story...

what i learn about money...
money doesn't make you happier,
- karena ada seorang ibu-ibu yang dengan kasarnya (entah sengaja atau ngga) bilang, "ibu sih ga punya duit di sini jadi ibu bisa bilang gitu!"
lucu kan orang yang duitnya lebih banyak malah lebih takut drpd kita yang ga punya duit sama sekali.
money doesn't make you a better person,
- gimana bisa membuat kita menjadi lebih baik kalo segala hal akhirnya kita lihat dr kacamata material. muncul juga dari
ucapan orang-orang tersebut ke nyokap gw yg ngomong soal salah memilih orang kepercayaan, kecewa dgn nyokap gw, ini dan itu dan ini dan itu.
but money does give u permission to forget what your mother used to taught u, what u learned at school. they simply ignored it.
- banyak ucapan-ucapan dan kata-kata kasar yg ga bisa gw tulis disini. terlalu kasar untuk telinga kita semua, apalagi untuk telinga nyokap gw.
semua orang seperti kehilangan kemampuan berakal sehatnya, kemampuan beretikanya.

semua tekanan yang diberikan ke nyokap gw toh ga mengubah kenyataan apapun yang terjadi.
dan nyokap gw jg tetap tegar berdiri tanpa terpancing emosi dan jadi lemah.
ooowww i really adore her...
bahkan nyokap gw sekarang dijuluki margaret thatcher huahahahha

intro

2008-12-09T07:04:00.000+07:00

we live we love we die.
we get a second chance.
and i got my second blog.